Its my birthday so I can ramble if I want to.

(Written in September. Finally spell checked it and put it up today.)

I chose to go on this little hike called, "Blue Lake" for my birthday. According to locals, it is perfect for kids, meaning not too long and is most gorgeous in the fall.  So we waited all summer and decided it would be a perfect birthday destination.  WRONG.
But I'll tell the short little story.
We prepared.
Jackets.
Hiking sandals(doink).
Restaurant scoped out online for lunch afterwards.
Bags of cute special snacks for each person, made by my cute husband Devin.

Then we drove. So pretty!
I must be old.
Only old people love the drives.(According to my kids and also myself as a kid.) 

Stopped at a cute store for an emergency bathroom break. And I was excited. I love cute weird stores. But they informed us, it was only for paying customers. Ignored them and ran Naomi into the bathroom before she peed on me. Came out to glares. I mean real glares. That happens outside of movies? Then outside, the whole town must have been chatting on the store porch and gave us the EYE too. This town shoulda been called, Mypottynotyours or something.  We decided to be peace makers and buy a soda. Luckily, they had Devin's favorite soda for only $5 a bottle.  Not to be deterred, its a birthday trip, lets buy everyone their favorite flavor!

I'll get to the point. We got about 1 mile till the starting point of our trail head and there was snow. And dark clouds. And they kept getting darker and the snow deeper.  And I was wearing sandals.  Devin the ever optimist(I'm not being sarcastic) declared:  Amie this doesn't feel right. We need to get off the mountain.   Now Devin says statements of caution like that once in.. well NEVER. So without question I gave up the hike.  We got out to see the snow for a few minutes. It was cold. Frigid. 

Drank our sodas.

 And drove back down. 

Googled a nearby lake.  And went there instead.

  And that's really the end of the story.
But here are a few pictures of us trying really hard to enjoy the day still.

 So determined to reach his big brother. He struggled and panted and...

 Made it.

 Then we got burgers on the way home at little old burger place. And that's it. Officially a year older.

My cake:

Here is a little synopsis of my 30th year of life:

So far being in my 30's has been the best thing ever.  My favorite year of my life.

I found a new comfort in my own self that I've never had a grasp on before.  Magic of the number? Or just coincidence that I finally found this comfort, this year of my life?  Plus I got to go to Tahiti. Which has been a life long dream.  Cache grew by leaps and bounds. Lost his anger he carried through his  5's and 6's. (Maybe a reflection of me?) He is back to his silly self we knew so well as a small baby and boy. He now will sporadically tackled hug me and kiss me right on the lips. His hugs warm me from the inside out.  Naomi just keeps turning into a surprisingly dynamic little lady. I just love to watch her personality blossom. She is just so much of a different girl than me, and I love it. Surprises me, but I love it. I can see her growing up to be a proper little pre-school teaching mommy with a pink house and everything organized or a straight up rainbow loving, free expressionist,  hippy girl.  Most likely it will be totally something totally different. But she will be kind and confident in whatever person she chooses to become. That I am sure of.  Gage is growing up, cementing himself in the dynamics of our 3 crazies. He really is the luckiest of the 3 in terms of me as a mother. I treat him almost like a grandchild. Cuteness out the window. Whatever makes you comfy. Sweats and sturdy shoes for this boy. No jeans and cute button shirts and boots like Cache had. And not because I'm tired. But because what matters in life is changing to me. I'm more calm, and organized but care less about those things. (Well, a little less.)  Devin and I grew, and healed from the trauma of starting a business from the ground with zero amounts of moolah, and no experience, the same year as moving cross country and having child number 3. ( I have surveyed lots of mothers out there and whether they have 10 or 3 kids, 99.9% agree that number 3 was the hardest transition, so I feel validated.) But Devin and I, well, we grew even closer this year and there is no better way to say it than, we are more in love than we ever, ever have been.

A good long vacation alone really did help too.  Still lots of struggles and mistakes and missteps outside our home and in, but now I have learned that, struggle means growth is happening. You just gotta hold on and keep your dignity about ya when you are in the fire. My relationships with my family are healing, changing and becoming more what I hoped that they could be. It's been a good year. I hope this next one is better. :) And that's a wrap. 

For the record here is my 31 year old profile.