The Book of Orton

Oh Naomi, how can we ever document you on paper?

Right now as I type you walked by with two playing cards 
somehow stuck to your feet and you're just marchin around.
You seem Very pleased with this.

"Yook Mom I Halloween!"

You are NEVER dressed. 5 minutes after I dress you, you are undressed.
Every morning you come out of your room ( If you're not already in our bed.) Stark naked.
Except sometimes you are wearing shoes.

Yesterday I caught you changing the baby's diaper.  He didn't seem to mind.
You used 8 wipes, and were holding him up by one leg.
When I comb your hair you screech, not because of knots but because you alway have food stuck your hair.

Let me just write down the things you've eaten in the past few weeks:

• Your rainboot. ( big hole in the toe now)
• my yoga mat. (big old hole right in the middle.)
• The rocking chair. (Caught you knawing away at it like a candy bar) I actually had to take wood out of your  mouth.
• My book. Took a big chunk out of it. Perfect giant teeth marks.

You talk to Cache like he is your baby.
Pat him on the head and squat down to talk to him, even though he is taller than you.
Recently you always tell him: Good job Tash. or "dats jus great!"
He hates this. :) "I'm not your baby Nay!"

You are potty training yourself.
Just like you weened yourself off the binky
and hopefully just like you will teach yourself to read. :)

You are confident, sharp and aware.
If Cache can't find something after 4 times of sending him to look again,
I'll let you go and you'll bring it to me in point four seconds.

You cry when I cry.

You cry all day actually.
You cry when you pray. Don't know why.
You cry just to cry.
You think the trains and doggies and every character in your books are crying.
They are not.
You LOOOVE babies and always have a baby doll over your shoulder.
wrapped in a blanket. And you always say "aaaah sweet baby."

You pray: "doggies and kitties come to our house pease."

You are a monster.
You are an angel.
You are crazy.
You are very sweet.
You remind me of "Animal" off of the muppets.
Other times you have Shirley temple, charm.
You fight with your dolls and animals. "Scoooch Dora, get out my way!"

You sing along to Diego movies. Even the spanish.
Your favorite bedtime song is "Monkey's jumpin on da bed." Except you usually want us to replace monkies with "Grandma"  or "Baby Jag wowers."  Or "Sam and Joe."
When I fix your hair you request "puppy ears" instead of piggy tails.
You ruin, everything that you come in contact with.
Everything.
There is never a meal that you don't spill your drink. Never. really. Or if it's soup, you have to spill it. If you don't, then you dump it....
Often you speak to me with your noes pressed up against mine, eyes wide, very serious.
You don't just tear pages in books like other kids, You rip books in half. Even cardboard books.
You peel your own organges. "OH Jin." Which is by far, your favorite food.
You never act guilty. You do everything you do very matter of factly.
You argue that the moon is pink.
You think everyting that is pink belongs to you.
When I ask what kind of pizza you want you say: "Pink pizza ah Nay."

Wild, beautiful, and full of life you are.
My Naomi.


Before I lose the paper with stats:  2 years 5 months.   Weight: 31 lbs (75%)  Height 34 3/4 lbs (60%)  Head Circumberence 49 cm (40%)

So according to the theory ( I guess proven theory)   that every child's full grown self with be exactly double the height of your two year old self, you will grow to be just under 5 foot 7 inches....  But I think you'll be a tiny bit shorter since you've grown a lot since you actually 2nd birthday and this is based on 2 years and 5 months.